We are taught from a young age to prepare for the future, save your money, work hard, invest wisely, delay gratification. Yes, all of this is good advice. Planning ahead can give us a sense of security and peace of mind. But somewhere along the way, many of us become so focused on preparing for tomorrow that we forget to live today.

‎Sometimes, withdraw a little money from that savings account. Take yourself out for lunch, buy that dress or shoe, go for that trip. It is not being irresponsible, but you're also investing in your happiness.

‎I realized that most of us spend our lives planning for the future, and when that future finally arrives, we immediately start planning for the next one.

‎We're always preparing for tomorrow. Then tomorrow becomes today, and instead of living it fully, we begin preparing for another tomorrow.It's an endless cycle. Until when?

‎Each achievement is quickly replaced by another goal, and before we know it, years have passed. We have built a life, but have we truly lived it?

‎This isn't an argument against saving money or planning for the future. Financial discipline is important, and so is having goals. But what is the purpose of building a future if you never allow yourself to enjoy the present?

‎Life is uncertain. None of us knows how much time we have. While we should prepare wisely for tomorrow, we should also create memories today.

‎Celebrate the small wins, spend time with the people you love, travel when you can, rest when you need to and treat yourself occasionally without guilt. Balance is the key.Don't spend recklessly, but don't postpone every joy to 'someday'. Someday is never guaranteed.

‎The future you are saving for deserves a financially secure version of you, but the present deserves a happy, healthy, and fulfilled version of you too.

‎So keep saving, Keep investing, Keep planning but every once in a while, withdraw a little, not just from your bank account, withdraw from the constant pressure of preparing for the next chapter.Because one day you'll realize that the future you've been waiting for is the life you're living right now.

‎We are living in times where the roles of men and women are greatly discussed and debated on. Conversations about feminism and independence are dominating social media, churches and even workplaces. The more we talk about these topics the more I ask myself if we are addressing the right thing.

‎

‎Perhaps the questions we should ask ourselves are, why are women choosing to be independent today? And have men forgotten the art of providing so that women choose to provide for themselves?

And ‎before we blame feminism for changing the way many women think about marriage and relationships, perhaps men should pause and ask themselves an honest question like, “are we contributing to this idea of feminism and the independence we now criticize? “

‎

‎Let as peek at the Bible for a moment. God created both man and woman with different responsibilities and strengths which I refer to as our divine natures.

‎ Adam was given the responsibility of tilling the land for provision and Eve was created as a companion and helper for man and given a responsibility of taking part in multiplying man through childbirth. For these roles, none is greater than the other but I believe they are meant to compliment each other.

‎So what does it mean to provide?

‎Many people reduce provision to paying bills but a man provides by:

‎Creating security.

‎Emotionally through love and leadership.

‎Spiritually by being the priest of the house and leading his family toward God.

‎Financially by working to ensure the needs of his family are met.

‎And in today's world financial provision has become more significant because every necessity of life now carries a cost.

‎

‎God designed women with an extra ordinary ability to receive, nurture and multiply. Give her love and she will return it in abundance, give her a house and she makes it a home, give her a seed and her body makes babies and she pours herself in raising them. Women don't initate as we even see in scripture that nothing starts with woman but everything she is given expands and increases.

‎So let us ask ourselves, what is making women not dwell in this divine nature?

‎

‎Sadly, many men today view providing for their women not as a divine responsibility ,  but as a burden or even doing a favour to them. some men are incredibly good and generous to friends, extended family or strangers yet become extremely reluctant when it comes to their wives. They may lavishly spend and invest elsewhere but question every investment they make on their women and every penny they spend on them.

‎

‎This raises an uncomfortable question. How does the woman who stands by you and builds a life with you become the last person you invest in?

‎

‎Many women today work, build careers, and become financially independent. There is nothing wrong with women working or succeeding .However, I believe some women choose complete independence not because it was always their dream, but because they no longer trust that someone will consistently provide, protect, or partner with them.

‎

‎If a woman feels she must carry every burden alone, she naturally adapts.

‎One observation I have made is that many Muslim and Arab families place a strong emphasis on the husband's duty to provide for his family especially his wife. Within many Islamic traditions, providing financially for one's family is understood as a religious obligation, and charity is often taught to begin with those under one's care and this comes with abundant blessings. With this you see women prioritising to care for their husbands, children and homes.

‎

‎Another issue I believe contributes to this problem is our relationship with money,  money has become an idol.

‎

‎One of the reasons that made me think about this deeply and in this perspective is when I heard a man proudly declare online that he would never give a woman more than five thousand Kenyan shillings. In that I heard a fear of giving, trusting and sharing.

‎

‎Another story that deeply saddened me is one that a man passed away and his family discovered that he owned rental properties and parcels of land worth millions with his wife having no knowledge of them. This got me wondering how coud a man value money that much to that point of secrecy.

‎

‎Another pattern I have noticed in many relationships is that some men only provide when they are asked.

‎The money comes only after she asks,

‎the help comes only after she asks,

‎the affection comes only after she asks,

‎the reassurance comes only after she asks.

‎

‎While there is nothing wrong with communicating our needs, I believe there is a deeper expression of love called consideration. To consider someone is to pay attention to them,to learn them and to care enough to meet some of their needs before they even have to ask.

‎

‎Many women naturally do this. As they get to know the man they love, they begin to understand his routines and needs. She notices when he is tired and prepares his favorite meal. She remembers the little things that make his life easier and often serve him in ways he never had to request because she has studied him with love.I believe men should strive to do the same.

Imagine a husband whose wife only cooks for him when he asks or reminded and only shows him affection after he requests it. He would eventually feel uncared for and might even stop asking  because, constantly requesting basic acts of love becomes emotionally draining.

‎

‎A man should learn his wife's heart and should know what makes her feel loved, secure, and appreciated.I refer to this as thoughtful provision, which is not expensive, it only begins with paying attention.

‎

‎When a woman has to ask for every act of care, every necessity, or every form of support, she can slowly begin to feel like a burden . Eventually, many women stop asking and tell themselves, "I'll just do it myself."And over time, this starts to quietly reshape the relationship.

‎

‎Many men say they desire a woman who is gentle, nurturing, supportive, peaceful, and committed to her home, Yet these same men sometimes resist becoming the kind of men who cultivate that environment for her.

‎

‎I also believe that a good woman does not seek to burden the man she loves, she will not deliberately demand what she knows he genuinely cannot provide, but there is a difference between refusing to give and being unable to give. A loving woman can usually recognize that difference.

A lot of men have forgotten the art of provision and one consequence of that may be more women feel they have to become more independent.

Imagine a society where the men lead with humility, provide with generosity and love sacrificially and women who feel safe enough to nurture, support and invest their energy in building their homes?

‎

I am sure all of us, well most if not all , has a close relationship with someone or some people. It can be your partner, friend or friends or even family. Getting close to someone makes them become familiar to you and you to them. Familiarity Is beautiful as it allows people to build trust, feel comfortable with one another and develop deep friendships.

However familiarity can become destructive, or as I call it “poisonous to relationships” when people become too used to each other, some boundaries are crossed and people start to lose respect for one another. There's an old saying ‘ Familiarity breeds contempt ‘ and there is quite some truth behind it.

When it comes to relationships I don't think love disappears, what happens is that respect and honor slowly fades away. Two people become too used to each another and they stop valuing what they once cherished.

In the beginning of most relationships people are careful, careful of how they speak to one another and make sure they choose their words carefully considering their partners feelings and show appreciation for one another. But now they start getting so used to the other person's presence and the husband who was once respcted becomes ignored and the wife who was appreciated and adored is now overlooked and this is how resentment starts growing.

Familiarity also affects families, friendships and workplaces. You'll get that people in such settings getting used to each another and start losing regard for one another. People start treating strangers with more courtesy than those who are close to them.

Sadly, this has extended to how people treat leaders or those in authority . In some cases people become too farmiliar with them and this replaces the honor and respect we should have towards them. When this happens authority starts to be questioned out of lack of respect, people stop listening and begin treating leadership and leaders casually.

Perhaps the most dangerous form of familiarity is familiarity with God. Those who once approached God in adoration and honor start becoming too casual with their relationship with Him. They become to used to hearing about God , going to church and reading the scripture until they don't do it anymore.

Familiarity in general is not bad but it becomes poisonus when it starts to increase and many begin to take each other for granted assuming that the other person will always be there so they stop investing effort, respect and honor into the relationship.

The antidote to this poison is intentional honor and respect. We must willingly choose to respect everyone around us no matter how close they are, value our relationships and choose to honor authority even that of God.

Familiarity should deepen appreciation as it should be a foundation for trust but this is only when honor and respect is kept. If not it becomes a silent poison that slowly destroys relationships with those close to us.

Political awareness has risen among the citizens of Kenya especially the GenZs. Young people are speaking out more than ever and demanding for better governance. This is good because we are a democratic country and that is very essential in a democracy.

However, what concerns me is how these political discussions are being carried out. The citizens especially my fellow GenZs are being driven by their emotions in making political decisions rather than facts.

Most of the people are having very strong opinions and mostly allegations against the government ,its policies and projects without even taking the time to fully understand them.

A good example is the finance Bill. I understand that every citizen had the right to question and challenge proposed laws but it is equally important that the criticisms should be based on the actual contents of the bill rather than information circulating on social media and what you hear the person next to you saying. If people are saying a certain tax has been increased you should first go read the Bill and confirm ( I believe it is usually made public for everyone to read) before opposing anything and even reaching the point of going to the streets in the name of demanding for your rights.

Every citizen should ask themselves simple questions like, what does the bill actually say and which sections are these people are claiming they are part of the it? Before I go against it and even support the people doing so , do I have evidence that support the claims being made?

The same applies to government projects and facilities. For example the hot topic right now about the Ebola Quarantine facility to be constructed. Instead of just assuming and coming to a conclusion there are bad intentions behind it , citizens should seek to understand the purpose of such projects and the exact benefits and risks they might bring to the country so as to have an opinion about them.

Another issue is the blaming of the president or the government for a very challenge facing the nation forgetting there are also positive developments taking place. There is noticable improvement in infrastructure, housing and even empowerment programs. These programs might not be perfect but I think it is better to sit down and evaluate them insted of rejecting them automatically. And just because these developments aren't impacting you directly,it doesn't mean they aren't taking place or they don't mean anything.

To be clear I am not defending the government or trying to attack anyone opposing it. My main aim here is calling out my fellow citizens especially the GenZs to start thinking critically, accept to look at things from different perspectives ,ask themselves questions and examine things for themselves before coming into conclusions.

We are a generation that is acting out of frustration, lack of understanding and misinformation ,this makes us very prone to manipulation by politicians and influencers. Most of us are chanting “WANTAM” without even knowing why.

This being mental health awareness month I would like to talk about a certain issue on the topic. Mental health is an important topic, and trauma is real. People go through painful experiences that can deeply affect the way they think, react, and interact with others. However, I have started noticing something that concerns me nowadays, many people use mental health as an excuse for bad behavior instead of taking accountability for their actions.

I once experienced something that made me think deeply about mental health and the it's relation to emotional maturity. A classmate in my software engineering class started a conflict in our group chat and began using vulgar language toward a fellow student. People in the group tried to calm him down and asked him to relax, but instead of apologizing , he started telling everyone that we should understand him because he is an orphan and sometimes feels traumatized by his situation.

That moment left me thinking ,was it really trauma speaking, or was it plain immaturity?

I know pain can influence a person’s behavior, but it should not get to a point you start misbehaving and use it as an excuse to your bad manners . I'm sure a big percentage of us if not all , have experienced trauma, grief, or difficult childhoods, yet we still try to treat others with respect and behave.Emotional pain is not a free pass to insult people, create unnecessary conflict, or avoid accountability after making wrong decisions.

One thing I believe is that growing older should also come with emotional growth. Once someone reaches adulthood, society begins to treat them differently because they are expected to make informed decisions and take responsibility for themselves. At 18, a person is legally recognized as an adult. They are trusted to drive, work, vote, and make serious life decisions and that is why you are given an Identification card by the government to verify that.

Unfortunately, some people continue behaving irresponsibly and then hide behind trauma whenever they are confronted. Instead of admitting they were wrong, they seek sympathy to avoid criticism. In some situations, “mental health” becomes less about healing and more about escaping responsibility.

True emotional maturity is not pretending to be perfect or never struggling emotionally. It is the ability to acknowledge your pain without using it as a weapon against others. It is learning to say: “I was wrong.” “I need help.” “I am experiencing trauma but it does not justify hurting people.”

Healing is important, but accountability is equally important.

So if this is you please do more research on emotional maturity and stop singing mental health to us ‘umekuwa mtu mkubwa wacha ujinga 😁 😙’

A person can survive heartbreak, betrayal, bullying, loss, trauma, rejection, or constant stress and still carry invisible effects from it long afterward.

• Sometimes survival looks like:

• still waking up every day,

• still functioning,

• still laughing,

• still studying or working,

• still talking to people.

But healing is deeper. Healing is when the pain no longer controls the way you think, react, trust, love, or see yourself.

For example:

Someone survives betrayal, but now they cannot trust anyone.

Someone survives being constantly criticized, but now every mistake makes them feel worthless.

Someone survives chaos, but now peace feels uncomfortable.

Someone survives abandonment, but now they push people away before people can leave them.

Outwardly, they “made it.”

Internally, the wound is still shaping their behavior.

That is why the line is brutal: because many people confuse adaptation with healing.

Humans are very good at adapting to pain. We learn to:

• numb ourselves,

• joke about everything,

• stay busy constantly,

• avoid emotions,

• become emotionally distant,

• act strong all the time.

Those things can help someone survive.

But survival mechanisms are not always healing mechanisms.

A scar can stop bleeding and still hurt when touched.

So ,

“The worst damage is sometimes the kind that changes you quietly while convincing you you’re fine because you kept going.”